Why Do I Keep Relapsing Into Stuttering?
Many people who stutter (PWS) reduce or even stop all stuttering (by finding a few methods that work) but relapse back into stuttering within a few weeks or months after stopping. Why do they keep relapsing?
Most of us who beat stuttering PERMANENTLY use MANY different methods to beat it, not just one or a few. The stutter habit tends to overcome methods that are used too much.
In addition, most PWS, who stop stuttering, do NOT stop ALL stuttering, but, rather, only part of it – 25%, 50%, 75%. A few may get over 90%. However, sadly, unless they reach 100% or very close to it (98 or 99%), they keep hearing stuttering from their lips.
Every time that they hear stuttering, it feeds and spreads like a virus. One analogy is a knife-cut in your skin. If you leave a cut alone, the skin will naturally grow back together (unless it requires stitches), BUT, if you keep tearing the skin open a little here and a little there, it NEVER heals. A little stuttering never allows your mind to heal, to unlearn the habit of stuttering.
Note that by stuttering, I mean only “bad incidents” of it. I define Bad Incidents as any speech that a total stranger would UNQUESTIONABLY appear to be disabled speech. I say “stranger”, because those close to you may expect you to stutter and view minor incidents as stuttering. To keep stuttering, you must seriously stutter; you must feed the habit; the habit is only “fed” when you feel DISABLED (a Bad Incident). Anything short of that is what fluent speakers do all the time and simply ignore, as you must learn to do.
To prevent constant re-opening of the stuttering-wound (the habit in your mind that promotes it), you must stop ALL BAD INCIDENTS of stuttering.
Many PWS have stumbled on a few of our Crutches, and they are able to reduce their stuttering by using them, but they do not apply them consistently. They have difficulty understanding and accepting that they must ZERO OUT the Bad Incidents. Reducing them is NOT sufficient. Being a Speech Cop means ALLOWING ZERO BAD INCIDENTS.
At the beginning, this, of course, is very difficult and, the more severe the stuttering, the harder it is. REGARDLESS, FEW WILL EVER STOP STUTTERING PERMANENTLY UNTIL THEY LEARN TO STOP ALL BAD INCIDENTS.
This may be accomplished only in stages. Take PWS “X”, one of our students, a 100% mute, after two years of working hard at it and Skyping a few dozen times, X has reduced Bad Incidents by 50%. His case is soooo hard. But when X is able to use the Crutches and stop virtually 100% of his Bad Incidents, he will stop stuttering.
Also, do not confuse FEAR with stuttering. Fear is THE SECOND WAR. Stopping stuttering is the first. Put fear on the back burner until one learns to stop ALL Bad Incidents.
The fastest way to learn and apply our proven methods is to join as a Stuttering Plan member of SAC, which provide access to my four speech-related books and the 50 or so video-lessons on those books. You can keep up with our blogs; participate in our forums, read our weekly emails with the latest “tips” and be sure to attend SAM, the world’s only speech club where EX-stutterers help others stop stuttering. Finally, consider getting some private coaching from one of SAC’s Certified Speech Coaches, all of whom beat stuttering using our methods.