January 30, 2021 at 2:12 am #28822SunParticipant
Yesterday in my colleague gathering event, I just cannot stop thinking about words. And I miss the right speaking opportunity all the time. In result, I could hardly participate. And this has been very typical when I was in social settings, especially casual chats.
what should I do? In that kind of setting and also in daily lives when I am alone? how should I practice and deal with casual chats?January 30, 2021 at 9:36 am #28823JavierModerator
that also used to happen to me when I was a PWS.
Some things that have helped me a lot are:
– Smiling before speaking. Might seem silly, but it does make a difference. You’re focusing on keeping a smile instead of words.
– Hand gestures. Be more expressive.
– Keep it short. Ask questions instead of talking about yourself. Try to learn something from the people you’re talking to. You’ll be liked more (people love to talk about themselves), and, as a listener, you won’t feel pressure. (By the way, have you read Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and influence people”? If not, it’s a must-read)
– Try to speak as soon as you have an urge to say something, don’t give time to your brain to plan your next sentence. As soon as you have the kernel of an idea, start speaking. Your brain is fully capable of forming sentences “without your help”. You can also think of a Crutch (but focus on using that Crutch 100%) instead of your words. Or try both things at the same time!
Start practicing these things with the people you feel most comfortable with, and step by step, expand your comfort zones to people or situations you feel A BIT more pressure, and keep doing this until you feel no pressure in almost any situation. It will take some time but it’s so much worth it…February 9, 2021 at 10:17 pm #28891Adam PlayfootParticipant
That was phenomenal advice Javier. I also had these problems in situations at school where I had to make small talk with strangers. Sometimes I would think a word so I would just avoid saying the sentence altogether.February 12, 2021 at 8:33 am #28898Leah AreffModerator
Sun, have you completed the 3rd edition? Have you gone through the video courses and crutch mastery series?February 15, 2021 at 3:35 am #28907SunParticipant
Javier, thank you for your advice! I can see they make a lot of sense. I will practice!February 15, 2021 at 7:42 am #28908JavierModerator
Awesome! Please do keep us posted with your progress!!!
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