Stu, Nothern Ireland
Hello, my name is Stu; I’m 35, and I live in Ireland. I have had a stammer for as long as I can remember. My mother tells me it started around 7 years of age. This timeframe would be around the time when I woke up in bed to the sound of a number of loud bangs, and to a really strong smell of smoke. I didn’t know at the time, but it was the sound of my stepfather being shot dead whilst in bed beside my mother. I am from Northern Ireland, a place when in 1990 this was unfortunately, all too common. Perhaps this was the catalyst? Who knows, it doesn’t matter how it started, what matters is I have dealt with ghastly stuttering, until finally now, with the help of Lee Lovett, I beat it.
I grew up with various incidents of embarrassment in my life due to my speech blocks. As a younger child I can remember being quite extroverted, I would have spoken to anyone and nothing troubled me too much. I was a happy child and loved to have fun.
Somewhere along the way I became introverted, unhappy, and very self-conscious about myself due to my speech. I remember like it was yesterday, going to a speech therapist when I was around 11. The words the therapist told me, stayed with me for years to come. “There is no cure to stammering.” For years, I believed that was in fact, NO CURE for stammering. I carried this thought with me and never let it go. I gave so much meaning to it.
I didn’t go back to that speech therapist, and just continued to stumble through my life with embarrassment and anxiety running the show. In my 20’s I did a course on a costal breathing technique, I enjoyed the course, but it wasn’t for me. Taking big costal breaths every time I spoke was tiring and could sound odd and not something I wanted to do for a long time. I will admit though that some may get great control from using the technique, and I am glad for them, but it just was not for me. I tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but that involved challenging my fears and beliefs, something I did not wish to do, so I did not last the course there. I also went to a therapist and got counselling, she was amazing and helped me deal with issues from my past, this was helpful, but she had little experience with the issue I had. So my stuttering continued.
I have always searched for the answer to stammering and the one glaring question nobody could explain to me.
“Why can I talk fluently when alone but block when someone can hear me?”
This just never got answered – not until I read Lee’s book.
I found Lee thorough a friend in a stammering WhatsApp Group, “Stammering is a mind-body condition” He told me about a course he had done called The Landmark Forum, where you deal with any issues of your past that have been holding you back. I did this course on his recommendation and it has been incredibly helpful for me in terms of anxiety and dealing with my past. He however also told me about Lee’s work, and I had to look it into it.
I emailed Lee and he sent me a copy of his book. I was blown away by it! At last someone had talked about being able to read aloud when on your own! Also doing all this work free! I have read his book now three times and I love how practical the steps are. No jargon, just easy to follow steps to assist yourself cure. Lee’s crutches are great, I particularly have success changing voice register and speaking in short sentences. I do my auto suggestion treatments every day and reading aloud and it is killing any fear of speaking.
I self cured in a only a few months and after only three Skypes with Lee. I no longer allow myself to stutter, I just do not do it. If I have a problem, I use a crutch or take a pause and start again. I will continue to read Lees book over and over and hope to become a coach so that I can help other people get free of this issue.
Lee is a modern day saint and you should trust his method and start your self cure today.
Some tips I have picked up along the way.
- These is a cure, if you carry a belief there is not then you won’t make it happen.
- Being a speech perfectionist is doing the opposite of what you think it’s doing, give yourself a break. If you stumble or have an issue, keep moving on nobody cares, most don’t notice, and EVERYONE does it.
- Do the work, do everything in the book as described. If you don’t do the work there is no cure, simple as that. How much you put in will reflect how much you get out.
- Read all the books you can on the subject, learn about people that have beaten it, Ruth Mead, John Harrison as well as Lee. This will give you assurance it can be done.
Link to my personal blog should you want to read. I will be posting my success on there too.
STUART, Nothern Ireland, January 2020